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Tips for Carrying to Term

Welcome to the major portion of this site.

Don't feel you have to head through each of these sections in order. Heaven knows I didn't write them or experience them that way! You may want to check out only the areas that you're working through at the moment, or the parts you're coming up on soon. Poke around and see if anything you find is of personal use. Take what you find helpful and ignore the rest. This is free advice, and it's worth every penny. The best situation would be that these pages raise an issue, you and your spouse discuss it, and you and your spouse together reach a conclusion that best fits your circumstances. The majority of the "tips" are really just my own experience and things I wish I had done differently, or else things I wouldn't change at all.

If you've got a tip of your own to pass along, email me, and I'll include it. If you see that I'm suggesting totally the wrong thing to do, let me know and I'll mention your alternative approach. (I may agree with it, too!)

Every section contains may subsections, but I had to organize it all somehow.


But first things first

This is a very important insight from Monika, so I'll share it with you prior to the deluge of information:

When a new anencephalic baby is born, I always think about how it was when I had my little Anouk. What went fine, what could have been better. I hope that the mother who has her baby now does not make the same "mistakes" I did, that she does not have regrets as I have sometimes. While I was thinking about this, God reminded me of the story of Jesus visiting Martha and Mary (Luke 10.38-42). Martha was cleaning the house, preparing a good meal... all the things which have to be done. Mary sat down at the feet of the Lord and listened to his teaching. Martha was upset and asked Jesus to send Mary to help her. But Jesus said : "You are worried and troubled over so many things, but just one is needed. Mary has chosen the right thing, and it will not be taken away from her."

We are worried over so many things; so many things could have been done better during the time we had our babies. But God said to me, "Just one was needed." To give all my love to my baby. I didn't give a bath to Anouk, I didn't even try to nurse her... but God comforts me and says, "Just one was needed, and you have done it." The love I gave to Anouk will never been taken away from her!


Tips Pages:

Emotional issues

Bonding with your baby

Spiritual issues

Things your baby needs

Dealing with family and friends

Dealing with people who Just Don't Get It

Issues the parents may face

Donation: organ, cord blood, breast-milk

The birth itself and birth plans

Funeral planning


Memorial ideas, and still more memorial ideas

Books and support systems


I hope you find these pages helpful.